A TRUE FRIEND

The delusions of this past year seeped into my mind and heart like a slithering snake
It bit me with its poisons that one often thinks they are immune to
I became paralyzed
I couldn't step backward
I couldn't move forward
When I felt your concern and care, I hugged it like the life preserver it was and still is
I spilled out my heart with my temporal joy and with tears of anguish
They flooded your ears, tied up your phone line and tested the patience of your husband and children
I feel the snake still close by, coiled up, ready to strike. I have to carry my stick, be on guard
I'm getting weaker
I've been so thankful to you for being there,
and I feel so helpless now to be a friend to a friend in need
It hurts to know I've let you down and even more knowing I'm letting God down
He hasn't asked much, just to love him, by loving others
To believe in him, by putting my trust in him, knowing that he knows best
But I've been the independent and stubborn child that thinks she has it all in control
I've been victimized by my own pride, bitterness and selfishness
like luggage floating to the surface after a shipwreck
I feel like I'm coming to the end of a long, dusty road, only to realize I've taken the wrong turn
I need to turn back, face the right direction and start walking
I've been hesitating.......Its along way back